It’s a frequent misconception that there are a ton of remedies you can take to help you eliminate alcohol quicker or get less drunk. Alcohol is eliminated by what’s called zero-order kinetics. This process means that a fixed amount of alcohol is eliminated from the body at a time. Nothing you’re doing, including coating your stomach, eating (including a cheese tray) or drinking coffee is going to make you less intoxicated (referral to the legal definition of how much you have in your system). Now being less dehydrated helps the blood alcohol concentration, and drinking coffee (which is a stimulant and can counter the depressant effects of alcohol) may make you feel more alert, but my best remedy for you is to sleep it off (unless you’re intoxicated to the point that you need medical attention).
Bonus question: “Does vomiting help?”
Vomiting is only of value in eliminating alcohol that hasn’t yet been absorbed into the bloodstream. Once the alcohol is in your system, it needs to be eliminated as discussed.
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