The third part of this Straight, No Chaser series on aging is about your genital system after 40. There’s a lot here both for the ladies and the gentlemen, but everyone should want to know all the information provided on either sex. As before, I’m going to go through changes – challenges – solutions. I welcome any questions or comments.
- Click here for the first post on changes in your skin.
- Click here for the post on changes to your musculoskeletal system.
And now to today’s post.
Prologue: Sex is good for your long-term genital and mental health. I can’t think of a better, more sexy application of the truism ‘knowledge is power’. Men, feel free to discuss this with your ladies. Ladies, I promise you I’m not being biased here (wink).
Changes: Allow me to start with the most important point: sexuality is not truly an issue of aging as much as it is more an issue of education, psychological response and health. However some changes specific to the genital system do occur with aging. In men, the prostate may enlarge (does so in 50% of men at age 50), potentially causing frequent and urgent needs to urinate and difficultly holding urine. However, more changes occur in women than in men. In women, the uterus shrinks, and several changes occur in the vagina, resulting in decreased lubrication and elasticity being lost.
Challenges: The challenges here are interesting ones. Simple rules to better genital health – Women: Stay sexually active! Men: Be confident in your sexual stamina! It is important to understand that the changes that occur in the genital system are not as related to age as they are to one’s sense of sexuality. The physical changes in the genital system should be non-problematic, especially if sex has been occurring without long periods of abstinence.
Venus Challenges: On the female side, the physical changes all can be dealt with if the woman has maintained some regular level of sexual activity. Yes, genital responses to stimulation slow gradually in both men and women, but you can have normal sexual relations at any age, as long as you are healthy. If after the age of about 40, a woman abstains from intercourse for prolonged periods (such as 3 to 5 years) the ability to secrete lubricating fluids, and much of the elasticity of the vagina are permanently lost.
Mars Challenges: On the male side, a particularly annoying challenge for some men with prostate enlargement is to avoid self-wetting. The even greater challenge is (not believing, but) ‘knowing’ your sexual prowess and stamina are still intact, particularly if dealing with an intimidating female partner (e.g. better conditioned, more adventurous or perhaps younger). For males, premature ejaculation and impotence are dramatically reduced in men when they become legitimately confident in their sexual skills set. Work on that! Women, feed your men confidence! It will come back to you!
Venus Solutions: Masturbation can effectively help to maintain female capabilities to provide lubrication and elasticity, especially if object insertion is included. Since most research shows that less than 50% of women practice object insertion during masturbation, these women who also abstain from intercourse lose some vaginal elasticity, even with regular masturbation. In the event that the woman has been sexually abstinent for a period of 3 to 5 years or more, the use of K-Y Jelly or some other non-alcoholic, non-petroleum lubricant specifically designed for compatibility with the chemistry of the vagina may sufficiently reduce discomfort in sexual intercourse.
Mars Solutions: Remember that most sexual problems are social/psychological problems, and they occur at all ages. Men: work on learning what’s necessary to give you confidence, and better performance will follow. For some it’s a certain partner, for others it’s a pill. Do not underestimate this point: if you’re otherwise healthy, that enhances your ability to perform sexually! It’s all about blood flow anyway.
Solutions Epilogue: The main solution to age-related issues of the genitalia are all within your reach (no pun intended): it’s all about activity, especially continued regular sexual activity, exercise, good nutrition and other healthy habits.
Post-script: Petroleum products such as baby oil and vaseline must never be put in or on the vagina, as they will upset the pH balance of the vagina, making it susceptible to yeast infections and other problems like BV (bacterial vaginosis).
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